Aborted

You might disagree with my opinion on abortion. It seems to be the minority opinion based on the beliefs of my family and friends and those on TV. I’ve listened to most, if not all, of their arguments to find a weakness in my thought process but still can’t justify it under normal circumstances. Among them, I think that abortion is a woman’s right is their strongest argument; however, I also think that it’s flawed because there are three parties involved – mother, father and baby, and an unborn baby is unequivocally a human being. Honestly, you changed my mind on the issue. I was indifferent up until your conception and could no longer condone the death of a human life.

Your mother had an abortion early on in our relationship. She made the decision without my knowledge. We were having problems largely due to cultural differences that caused her to leave our home without any intention to come back. She found a place to live and got a new job, unbeknownst to me. Never did I want your mother to leave and tried hard to convince her to stay but what I wanted didn’t matter at that time.

I missed your mother every day that she was away. Since she wouldn’t tell me where she was living or what she was doing with her time, I found some comfort by looking at her social media accounts for updates using a fake account. We’d chat occasionally but talking to her was like talking to a wall and, not long after, she asked for space. Not more than 10 days passed before we spoke again and her problems with me had mostly subsided but it was too late for our baby. Your mother made the sole decision to have an abortion sometime during that period. She moved back home after about a month from the time she left.

Weeks had gone by before your mother told me that she aborted our baby. She had to tell me at least three times on at least three different occasions before it was clear. I was in disbelief for weeks. I couldn’t understand how a decision of that magnitude could be made so swiftly and without my consent, so I thought she was lying. That it was a joke. But, once reality hit, I was quickly overcome by anger, which progressively grew inside. I strongly considered leaving your mother but realized that wasn’t possible even if she wasn’t able to conceive again because of my love for her. It took a while to reach that point.

No, I don’t blame your mother for the abortion. Considering her very poor upbringing, the many shitty Vietnamese people that she has encountered in her life, including her mother and members of her family, and the failed teachings of the Communist Party of Vietnam and Buddha, I couldn’t fault her. One thing that you must understand is that these people are nothing like us — as of 2022. What we think of as rational and/or common sense is different than what they think. What’s bad to us also has a completely different meaning to them. We’re conservative, comparatively.

Yes, I would have tried to stop your mother from having the abortion given the chance. I tried everything possible to keep her from leaving home, which worked for weeks. But eventually she wanted out. There was nothing more that I could have done without infringing on her rights (based on my beliefs).

Like your mother, I want to believe that our first baby was you but it seems improbable. Even though I strongly disagree with her decision to have the abortion, it’s nearly impossible to regret. We may never have met you had just one event been different.

I hope that you never have to make the decision to abort your baby. Understand there’s a darkness it entails that’ll be a part of you for the rest of your life. Some women, like your mother, might be able to justify the decision, but never have I met a woman, including your mother, that didn’t regret it.